In India,  English is the Language which is widely spoken but not correctly spoken. There have been a lot of instances where we tend to feel that this state in India must improve. A Classic speech that best suits the above said lines. I was laughing out loud for quite some time.

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school

in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as

was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly

on Independence Day.

Here’s his dynamite speech : Leddies and Gentulmens,

Contemporaries, Children, “This is my first maiden speech.   If

small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly

speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the

following reason.

Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation

in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I

put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk.

At first she also rejected. I then praised her for long time and

at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son.

Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible

for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who

get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our

birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our

birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the

Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or

looking at your behind. Be like great like X’ raj Ranjan of

Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt.

You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety

seven percent evaporation.  They became great by reading great

books.  After we finish you here in the school, you can go to

college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can

become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants,

or leacherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil.

We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your

heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come

in newspapers.  Only yesterday I saw in paper “Wanted for

refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors” so

and so forth, etc.  These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise.

If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly.  My God blast you!   Thank you and

thank God I am finished. Joy Hind!”